October 30, 2014 Thursday Afternoon, Geneva Retreat
Exercises: Doing with a Mind That Lets Go
Games as mindful exercises to note and release tension, to open to the tensionless.
Barbara: Aaron is going to come in and talk for a bit and then we’re going to do some more active exercises practicing what he’s talking about. There’s a quote from Ajahn Chah that I want to read to you. Ajahn Chah was a senior teacher in the Theravada Buddhist tradition in Thailand. He’s was one of John’s major teachers there.
“Do everything with a mind that lets go. Do not expect any praise or reward. If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will have complete peace and freedom. Your struggles with the world will have come to an end.”
(Aaron incorporates)
Aaron: My blessings and love to you all. I am Aaron. Brighter and brighter light shining out of this room! We don’t need the sun. (it is a grey day outdoors)
It’s fine to speak about letting go, but how? When we talk about remembering wholeness, we remember that part of us that was never contracted, never attached, never fearful or trying to control. But of course in your human experience, there is that controlling, frightened aspect of you. We can remember, tie a string around the finger, “Let go! Let go!” It doesn’t mean anything.
You have practiced contracting and controlling 10,000 times. Fortunately you do not have to practice letting go 10,000 times, only to begin to remember the simultaneity of that which is contracted and that which is free and open, and to consciously invite.
Now, this is going against a certain habitual pattern of yours as mammals. You are, a friend calls it, “this animal that carries you around,” you are that, the mammal. You’re a lot more than that, but you’re deeply planted in that. The mammal has had to know where to escape for safety, where to find food. It has had to learn how to control its environment or it would not survive. The growingly conscious being that you are comes to know its total constant safety. And by that I don’t mean safety, oh you will never die. You are human beings and that means you took life, and eventually the life will pass away from this form. But the essence of what you are cannot die.
So we rest in that essence of being. We learn how to touch base with that essence. Some of you perhaps watching the World Series this past week—incidentally, for those who are interested, in the final game last night the Giants won 3-2. (laughter) The Giants have won the World Series.
But you can watch the runner on first base. The pitcher is about to throw. He looks over his shoulder, checks first base. Then he begins to throw the pitch, and the runner runs. But the pitch, maybe it’s a foul ball or it hits the dirt. The runner has to know when to come back to first base and when to move on. If the runner is constantly afraid, he’s not going to be free to run. He must be loose and open. He must be fully present and see that opportunity: time to run! The pitch, it hit the dirt—get out of here! The pitch, the catcher caught it– get back to base!
The human that you are has to find that inherent knowing, how to move from the heart without the mind trying to figure out every moment and move. We can practice by watching in simple ways, and today we’re going to do it through play, watching in simple ways how it feels to contract.
Here you are, the runner. You’re on second base. Your team is one run behind. The least hit or mistake on the pitcher’s part and you can get to third. Maybe you can score. It’s important. In the big scheme of things it’s not important, but for today, for the game, it’s important. Watching, watching. The pitch hits the dirt—run! The catcher catches it, begins to throw—get back to base! Tag back onto the base.
I’m not a baseball fan. I’ve been watching this, though. What I most enjoy about it is that the game is both serious and is play, and you can see on the players’ faces, so many of them, that they love playing baseball; that it’s a delight to them, not work. They know at some level, in the long run it’s not a life or death matter, but they’re willing to give it everything; to be fully present and alive in that moment.
So you’re all athletes out there running the bases. When the ball hits the dirt and the runner thinks, “I can run,” and then the catcher nabs it and is about to throw, can the runner contract, freeze? No! He can’t even think about, “Oh, he caught the ball. I think I should go back to base.” It’s got to be an immediate response. The ball bounces and misses. Does the runner freeze? Does he think about it? He just moves. This becomes a pattern in that player.
So what I want for you is to begin to explore the pattern of contracting. We’re going to do it through some simple games, as I said. There are 2 boxes called Jenga. I’ve never played the game. I’m not sure we’re going to play it as the actual game, but there are about 150 little blocks in each box. We’re going to push some tables together, put the blocks in the middle of the table, and invite you, perhaps in groups of three—one puts a block on. A second puts a block on. A third puts a block. Keep building up. Eventually, as this tower gets higher, it being the nature of blocks that are not perfectly placed, it’s going to topple. The three of you together watch as the next person picks up a block. All of you watch the tension.
Now, it doesn’t matter. If it topples, it topples. But there is also the intention, “Let’s build it as high as we can,” a playful intention. As soon as you feel tension, raise your hand, and all three of you stop and breathe together. Ahhh….Release tension, open the heart, smie at each other. Then the next person puts on a block. Our tower wobbles a little but it holds. The next person reaches, no shakiness, complete joy and confidence, and puts it on. The next person starts to put it on—ohhh! Shaky, stop. Breathe.
I want you to feel the simultaneity of tension and no tension. To see how without getting rid of tension you can open into the tensionless, rest in that tensionless, and just play the game with the blocks, with tensionless effort. I think in the game you start with a tower and you extract one block at a time, then place it on top. So you can play it that way too. I think it will take longer that way, and we’re after an exercise that can be repeated more rapidly. So just building with them may be more effective for now. But later on today or at other times this week, play the game as it’s meant to be played.
There is a basket of blue blocks. They’re meant to form into a cube, but instead we’re just going to use them as building blocks, same as the Jenga, piling one on top of another. Watch when it starts to topple the tension. I’m suggesting working in groups of three because that helps your energy to flow together. If the one about to put it on feels shaky, just looking in the others’ eyes and smiling at each other can help you return to that place of stability and ease. And if it topples, it topples.
I’m going to describe the games and then divide you, some of you, to play one, some to play the other, to rotate. Again in groups of three– one person of the three is going to close their eyes. The other two are going to take one hand each and lead the one with the eyes closed. Feel tension come up.
We did this one year at Emerald Isle and gave people permission to go wherever they wanted. Some people actually walked down the steps onto the beach. People being led could feel that movement, could feel themselves being led, and in one case actually right into the ocean, just ankle deep. Can you let go enough to simply allow yourself to be led? It’s a wonderful opportunity to watch the one who wants to control and the simultaneity of the one who has let go. You can ask people to stop if you need to. Breathe, collect, open the heart. Come back to trust. Nobody’s going to lead you off a cliff. You may stay inside or you may go outside, as you wish.
We’re going to play another game. We can put the Jenga and blocks on one table and use the open space here. This is a game, human knot, in which you form a circle, perhaps of 8 or 10 people. You cross hands with people, not the same person opposite you, my hand to your hand, but different hands. When all the hands are connected, then your purpose is to unwind. Ducking under, going over. When hands are held, they do not have to be held firmly so one arm will twist. The hands can turn gently within each other, so there’s no harming anybody. But keep in contact, even if light contact.
We did this at Emerald Isle in the swimming pool, and it was wonderful because people could duck underwater and swim freely to get through a loop of arms, a tangle. We don’t have that option here unless you want to go into the lake. So we’ll do it on dry land, but many of you have done this with me on dry land before.
What I want you to watch is, when you think, “Oh, we have to do it this way,” tension, “I see the answer,” the one who wants to control, can you let go of this person who wants to control and form into the flow of energy and mind of the whole group? No one person controls. It’s fine to say to the group, “I think I see a way that we could move. Could we try this?” Can that statement come from an openhearted place and not a fear-based and controlling place? Ultimately it doesn’t matter if you untangle. And ultimately it’s possibly, always—I’ve never seen one of these human knots that cannot untangle itself eventually. So just play with it.
That said, I think I’m going to just send you off for 90 minutes to play in these various ways, always watching for the one who is already released, has let go, not controlling, and the one who wants to control. And just say, “No thank you.” to it. “Shhh.” to it. You’re not trying to get rid of the one who wants to control. This is contrary to all our practice. You’re opening your heart to the one who wants to control, holding it in compassion, and letting the one who does not need to control come forth and speak.
Are there questions?
Q: Do you want us to do all three exercises?
Aaron: It would be ideal to do all three. I think in 90 minutes everybody can do all three. I’m not going to sort you out, only to say those who are drawn immediately to building with the blocks, go over to the table, open the box, spill out the blocks, and gather around. Try to form into groups of three. Those who are led to the exercise two to lead one (and then reverse the roles so each person is led at some time), move to that. You can go more than an hour if necessary. 20, 25 minutes with each exercise, I think you can do all three. If one doesn’t interest you, skip it. Nothing controlling, no rules. This is to be enjoyment and learning, play.
Any other questions? We’ll pick up back here when you’re done, not later than quarter to 5pm, so that I have the last 15 minutes to hear from you and summarize. Maybe by 4:30pm, if you’re done. But no pressure in any way. That’s all.
(tape paused)
Aaron: Continuing with the afternoon program. Once again, I am Aaron. I delight to see you playing. As adults you don’t play enough. When you do play it’s often something serious. The golf game, “I’ve got to make this shot!” The card game, “I’m not going to make my contract,” whatever. Tension. Not a lot of fun sometimes.
It’s not in the doing, it’s in the attitude. When you do with that mind that lets go, everything opens up. And the ball soars over the sand trap and plops in the hole, because there’s been tensionless effort.
I’d like to hear from some of you how this experience was for you. What did you learn? What did you experience? And if all you experienced was that it was fun, that’s fine too.
(tape paused)
Aaron: Q just said that she found—there were groups of three, one person with eyes closed and two leading. She found when she was being led, she was not really being led but all three were moving in unity.
(tape paused)
Aaron: Q said pausing was important for him. Stopping, checking himself, and taking a step back. I’d like you to take this into your hearts. Practice this for the rest of the week. Note contraction when it arises. The contraction is not bad, it’s just part of the mammalian reflex. Becoming self-identified with the contraction is what pulls you into a tight contracted space. Pause, pay attention, step back. Right there with contraction is that which is not contracted. This is the practice, to keep coming back to this.
(tape paused)
Aaron: Q was talking about the simultaneity of contraction and non-contraction and the power of noting the contraction. Stepping back and finding the spaciousness, and seeing the magnitude of that spaciousness with this small knot in the middle. And the knot seems solid. It has to be attended to with love. But it does not need to dominate. It’s only habit energy that keeps the knot dominant and gets your attention so strongly that you can’t see the space around the knot.
So this is what I would like you to practice the next 24 hours. We’re going to stop now… We’ll continue some this evening, and we’ll have a chance for some questions and answers.
Tomorrow we’re going to work with a journey, a voyage. We’re going to do something called spirit canoe journey. I’ll explain it tomorrow. But I’d like you between now and then to reflect deeply on your highest intentions. This journey is sometimes called a soul retrieval, and I find that a misunderstanding of the name because your soul can’t go anywhere. But parts of you seem to splinter off, often just long-held opinions and attitudes, and karma. What is there within the self that you have not been able to strongly connect with and want to invite back into the self? So do some reflection so that you’re prepared when you come tomorrow. If you brought the noisemakers of any sort—rattles, drumming, the boxes—to bang on, anything of the sort, please bring those with you. We’ll talk a bit more about it tonight.
That’s all, and I will see you this evening. Remember that spiritual practice is hard work but it also can be fun. It’s good to play. Sometimes you get so tense about, “I’ve got to get it right!” you forget to relax and enjoy.
(session ends)