October 17, 2017 Tuesday Evening, Path of Clear Light Class
Notes for Preparing for the Oakwood Retreat
Last class, someone in class asked how we can truly know what love it, if we have not deeply experienced being loved as children. Part of the class homework was to reflect, “what is the direct experience of love?” The class worked tonight with Stephen Levine’s Ahhh Breath meditation1. Then people shared their experience (not recorded). Most were very heart–opening. Since most of the class are attending the retreat, Aaron offered some retreat guidance near the close of class. We are sharing it with all attending the retreat.
Aaron: My blessings and love to you all. I am Aaron. You are love. It’s as simple as that. You are love. You have forgotten that you are love. One of the ways you can refresh that memory is through your meditation practice. When you sink down through the busy mind and the agitated body into a place of quietness, then you ask, who am I? I’m the angry one. I’m the confused one. Well, yes, those are surface attributes. Beyond all that, who am I? I think the question is not so much how do you connect with that heart of love but what blocks you from it? What old fears? What old stories block you from truly knowing yourself as love?
Eight of you will be at the retreat. Part of the reason for a vipassana retreat is to sink down beneath the stories and remember who you are. Part of the reason for the darshan with the Mother is that when you look into her eyes and experience her unconditional love, it’s very hard to hold on to the negative old stories about yourself.
At the retreat, please note the arising of stories. Begin to see what the predominant stories are that come, over and over. Ask my favorite question, “Is that so?” when the story arises. You might be able to say, “I know it is not so, but it seems to be.” Feel the tension in that belief. Right there, the predominant objects are “holding the story”, and “contraction” that comes with such holding. You are not to fix contraction but to remember spaciousness right there with contraction. There is nothing to fix.
For those of you not coming to the retreat, practice with this in your daily practice. I don’t want to give a specific homework assignment for next class, beyond to be as present as you can. Find the heart of love right there in each moment. You all have e-copies of my new book, not the final edition, which hopefully is receiving its last editing this week. Please read through it again before the retreat. The changes are minor— a dash changed in form, a comma. The text’s meaning is clear. Please read through it again and come to the retreat with an intention to find the heart of light and of love that is already there. But I don’t want to put this as a burden on you, so you say, “I can’t do this. I’m a failure.” Rather, when you can’t find that heart of light, relax. Go and sit by a flower in the meadow. Go sit in the sun. Breathe. Watch the stream bubbling past. Maybe even put your feet in it, if not too cold. Relax. Tension will not bring you back to the essence of love; only kind presence will do that.
But be a bit persistent in your gentleness, remembering you are love, you are light. There is nothing to fix, but the negative characteristics that you’ve carried along forever, such as believing in the stories of unworthiness, feeling impatient with yourself, may release. This is not to fix, just to note them with presence and say, “I release. I offer this. Here, Aaron, take it.” And I’ll take it. “I offer this. Aaron, hold my hand, it’s too hard.” I’ll be there, and the Mother also, and Jeshua and whoever else you call to you.
So, gentleness, courage, presence, and the deep intention to move past the negative tendencies that have curled themselves around you like tendrils, grabbing hold. You know if you have a vine around your hand and you pull it, it tightens. Gently let it go.
For your vipassana practice at the retreat, watch yourself breathing, as you just watched your partner breathing. Put your hands on your belly. In the meditation hall you can’t say, “Ahh…” aloud, but you can say (exhales) silently. Or go outside and say, “Ahh…” aloud for a while, as you breathe. Feel the power of connecting with your own self in that loving way. No one here had any difficulty to stay with their partner’s breath for 20 minutes. You can also do that for yourself. Then bring it back into the sitting. A number of you spoke of the mind becoming quiet, and experiencing the deep presence, stillness and love. So, I invite you to invite that into your retreat.
We will have more instruction at the retreat. Only a quarter of you attending the retreat are here today. But do it with love. Come with love. Be with love. Abide in love. And find that love in your heart.
Please do find whichever of the light practices of my book most speaks to you, work with that a bit these next few days, and bring the intention of some time with it to the retreat. Some of these practices are beautiful out in the field and by the stream, even in the farmyard watching the animals.
Are there any questions? I will see many of you next Monday, then. My blessings and love to you all.
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The AH Breath
This exercise that a caregiver or a guide does with a patient allows the patient to deeply let go into the relaxation of a vast and spacious mind. If the patient has a cardiac or other condition that could possibly make sudden relaxation dangerous, don’t do this exercise.
The Exercise:
*The person being relaxed is called the receiver and the person doing the exercise is called the giver.
The receiver is arranged so that his or her breathing is visible (chest/ abdomen) to the giver. The giver describes to the receiver what they are going to do – “this is a relaxation exercise your only job is to shut your eyes and listen to the AH sounds I’m going to make.”
Giver: quiet your own mind. Tell the receiver to relax their body (with a soft voice mention each body part that the receiver should relax). When you are ready, watch the breathing of the receiver. Begin to softly say AH with each out breath of the receiver. The exercise is this simple. The giver should continue the exercise for at least 20 minutes and up to an hour. The giver does not touch the receiver during the exercise.
The AH is the sound of the open heart and of letting go. Don’t be concerned if the receiver has an emotional release. More likely than often the receiver will go into a deep relaxation (their breathing may slow down dramatically). If the breathing slows the AH doesn’t have to last as long as the out breath. Once you do this exercise for the full 20 – 60 minutes, then you may use it for shorter periods to ease temporary anxiety.↩