Aaron’s Outline for a Fall Class; Spiritual Fatigue; What Endures?; A Comment on Current State of the World

May 1, 2018 Tuesday Evening, Path of Clear Light Class, Excerpt

Aaron: Some of you have been practicing for many, many years; some, a shorter time. Some of you have done more vipassana practice; some, other kinds of spiritual practice. But you all come to your spiritual practice with very committed questions: how do I live this life with more love, and in service to all beings? How do I come to know and truly express the light that I am? How do I bring Light into the world and support the world’s emergence into Light?

Years ago, an ongoing question for people in our gatherings at Barbara’s home: Who am I? Why am I here? What is this life about? You’ve read some of my responses to these questions. You have formed some ideas for yourself about what your life is about, the whole process of incarnation. Yet there’s still a lot of confusion, frustration, and even anger. “I don’t want to be here! It’s not fair! It’s too hard!” And I understand completely, because I had many human incarnations and I remember how it was.

Numerous questions arose as you shared tonight. I can’t answer all your questions in one night. It is a many year’s process to fully understand and you all have been traveling that path. Tonight, I want to bring up an idea that I’ve been playing with in my head, for next year and for the greater future; a program somewhat akin to Venture Fourth, in that it will be planned in advance and build step by step. But not a program where people come together for retreat for 4 days, periodically, as in Venture Fourth; rather, an ongoing program. I might call this “The Spiritual Path”— what it is, why are drawn to it, and how we may live it. I would like to do this program in the form of an ongoing class, I think every two weeks. Perhaps every 6 or 8 weeks we will have a daylong intensive. I would like to keep it small enough that we can meet at Barbara’s house, using her computer, as that simplifies the technology side of the program. Zoom worked well at the retreat. I don’t know how many of you would choose to participate in this, but let’s say we had not more than 10 live people and not more than 10 online people. So, a maximum of 20, but perhaps closer to 16— 8 live, 8 online— leaving abundant room for discussion.

Rather than the kind of class we’ve had in recent years, where we have a broad topic, but we approach it with a little bit of this, a little bit of that, based on your questions, I would have a very set plan for the year— specific reading, specific practices, a well-thought-out curriculum that leads us from Point A to Point B, without any absolute clarity of what Point B is except those last lines of the metta sutra of which D spoke earlier¹. Our two-part focus is waking up and living with love. You learn to use the challenges of daily life as the grist for the mill to help you wake up. Everything is included—spiritual fatigue, pain, heavy emotion, feelings of shame or unworthiness, feeling out of control, helplessness, anger, confusion, fear, grief. It is all part of practice and of the human experience, all fodder for awakening.

I would like to spend some time with Barbara over the summer creating a very clear curriculum, so this can flow, step by step.

I would only include those who have some real vipassana experience. I would not include beginners because I don’t want to limit what we do, having to work with people who have no practice at all. When I say no beginners, there are people who might appear and say, “I don’t really know this practice; I’ve never heard of vipassana. But I’ve been doing this (other practice) for the last 10 years.” And what they’re doing is vipassana, just by another name. That’s fine. But nobody who comes in and just says, “I’m curious about what you’re doing here, and I’ve never meditated in my life before.” I do not want to bring people like that into the program because I intend the program to have real depth. I would be delighted to have a beginner’s class parallel to this if there are people to lead it. My experience is that if we hold the highest intention for this program, and a clear focus, the people who need to participate will come.

I would like to support deepening in numerous practices, with practice instructions – deepening in vipassana, deepening in awareness, working with the clear light practices, including the sacred darkness practices, working with Brahma Viharas, knowing seva and sila as practice. I would like to include as practice, the challenges to life— the fatigue, the frustration, the confusion, the feelings of unworthiness and impatience with the self.

In doing this work, we will also focus on connection with Spirit, however each experiences such connection, and support deepening that connection. I would ask people to make a firm commitment to regular practice, and to some specific reading that I will assign as well. I will also ask people to make a commitment to sharing vocally in a group.

I’m not sure how this best will work; it depends on how many people. If we can include the people online and the people in the actual room in a dialogue together, I would hope we could do it that way, so that this group of perhaps 16 to 20 people can all come together as one sangha.

I actually envision this as at least a 2-year program, but the initial commitment would just be for one year. If people felt they were benefitting by it and wanted to continue the second year, fine; if not, the second year might be with fewer people. I would hope that this program would join some of the more experienced meditators— people who come to Emerald Isle, for example, who have not been able to participate in classes. Our ZOOM experience at Emerald Isle really gave me a sense that yes, this is possible. Doing it at Barbara’s house makes it easy, because the computer with the big monitor is there. She will have make comfortable seating for people! Beyond that, this certainly seems possible.

So that’s my idea for next year. We would continue to use Interfaith for such as things as Remembering Wholeness, for any other classes sponsored by Deep Spring Center, and for workshops that draw more people.

I’m going to go ahead with Barbara planning the logistics and me planning the curriculum. The intention will be, by mid-August to have a clear curriculum for the first semester— perhaps for the whole year, but at least for the first semester. I already have a good idea where I’m going with it; I’m not ready to share that, though.

I will push you hard. I will ask for daily practice, for self-honesty and self-compassion. I will ask for commitment.

I will offer as completely optional several times during the year the opportunity to participate in taking the so-called Bodhisattva Vow. I say “so-called” because it doesn’t have to be a Buddhist vow. Bodhisattvas exist in every tradition and language. It doesn’t have to be a vow. Barbara, as a Quaker, does not take vows. It’s simply a statement of intention. “My highest intention is to truly commit myself to a path of service to all beings; and out of that commitment, to find the courage to walk the challenging path before me, even when life seems overwhelming and frightening.” This doesn’t mean you’re going to suddenly all turn into bodhisattvas! It simply means you’re going to more deeply base your choices on the commitment.

You know the practice of clear comprehension: beginning with clear comprehension of purpose, clear comprehension of suitability If your highest purpose is truly to be of service, and you are able to state that clearly to yourself and to others, that gives you courage to look at the things that are hard in your life. I won’t say not to need to run from them, but to look at the need to run, when that comes up. That’s okay, too.

You’ve gotten to know each other this year, and the people that I envision might choose to participate— I’m thinking of people here— some of the folks at North Carolina, and around the country and even Canada, C, D, N, I, people like that. We’re already a sangha. There’s been talk about creating deeper community at Deep Spring and I think this class is a true ground for community. For now, community will seem to be simply those within this new class circle. But my experience is that when there is an energetic circle of community, that circle spreads out, and the energy flows. It is not that new people will join the class as months pass, but the energy is created to hold those new people and provide for them what they need. Deep Spring Center is the container, along with your hearts and commitment. Vision will support manifestation.

I value Deep Spring Center as a ground and source for sharing this deep dharma, the dharma of loving kindness, and always also including spiritual guidance. A part of the curriculum for me will definitely be helping you to connect with your own guidance and deepen your relationship with your guidance. These are reasons why I would want one 1-day intensive perhaps every 6 weeks. So, the first intensive at the beginning, on deepening practice; the second intensive on connecting with spirit; and so forth. It won’t be rigid in timing, but we will have a schedule made out early enough that you can plan other things around it and know that these days will be happening through the year, perhaps 5 or 6 full day intensives.

We’ll see about having a retreat, as well; or perhaps just encouraging people to come to Oakwood, and perhaps by the time of Oakwood, September/October, the class will have met for several periods. We could put those participating in the class into one group, so that the small group— everybody in the class will not be at Oakwood, but for those that come, a small group.

So, this is my vision. I’m glad you are intrigued by it. It’s time for us to regroup and go deeper, and to find the enormous fruit of practice— the fruit of awakening, the fruit of liberation— which we have lost sight of a bit these past few years as we try to re-envision Deep Spring Center and what we are. But I have never lost touch with that central intention to awaken as the core of Deep Spring. Working with spirit guides is not the core of Deep Spring; working with spirit guides is a support to awakening. It’s a necessary support— let’s say it’s a highly useful support; one can awaken without that connection, but it’s highly useful. Vipassana and Pure Awareness meditations are not the core of Deep Spring but are powerful practices for awakening.

Our intention here is to awaken, to fully know the Deep Spring, and to support conditions for fullest awakening. We wish to keep in mind we are all beings of light; we are here to help bring this Earth through into a higher vibration, and in that way to alleviate suffering in the Earth and in the universe. This is why you took incarnation. We need to put that recognition and intention full center, without grasping, but inviting the fulfillment of these human incarnations.

By not holding to fixed views, The pure-hearted one, having clarity of vision, Being freed from all sense desires, Is not born again into this world.↩