June 5, 2023 Monday Afternoon, June Retreat
Small Group Session
Mary (B): I am Mary. I have met at least most of you. I come more as a friend than as a teacher, just to walk this path with you.
What I say here is a little bit outside the central realm of Buddha dharma, but of course everything is included in the dharma; nothing is excluded.
So, let’s reflect: Why are you here in a body? What brought you into the incarnation?
Yes, I know—karma, you might say, but you also had certain intentions when you moved into the incarnation, and, for all of you older souls, a very high intention to help ground the Earth in love. To bring more love into the Earth and help support the higher vibration of the Earth, as response to negativity.
When you say, my friend, what are you doing/what are you not doing, what you are all doing here at this retreat is bringing more love into your lives. Learning not to be so reactive, but to be openheartedly responsive when there is negative catalyst on earth such as the increasing fascism, the environmental destruction.
We cannot deny that there is fear or anger or any of the hindrances, any of these difficult catalysts. Yet whenever we hate we bring our own energy down and pull down the energy of the whole Earth.
What you are doing through your retreat and through your practice is to be able to observe, “This has arisen from conditions, is impermanent and not self. It is unpleasant and, in its unpleasantness, there is aversion arising.” Right there with aversion, right there with unpleasant thought or physical experience, where is kindness? Where is love?
And if that is deeply your commitment, you will find it. You have support for finding it in your teachers, your own personal guides, your sangha. In this moment of concern, of pain, of fear—not diminishing those, not denying those—but in this moment, where is love?
And I think if you remember that that is the heart of your intention and keep returning to that intention, you will find that more open heart is accessible. And it will bring you joy. And it will change the world, as enough of you are able to do it.
That’s all I wish to say. Thank you. I hope that is somewhat helpful to you. I am happy to answer question, if there is one. If not, I’ll give the body back to Barbara. (pause) No question, so I will return the body to Barbara. I am Mary. My love to all.
Barbara: Thank you, Mary. Not getting lost in negativity, but acknowledging the arising of fear, of anger, of anything negative. Not trying to get rid of them, because that’s just more negativity, but not just saying, “Where is love?” Instead, knowing the spaciousness. Knowing the spaciousness in your heart. Knowing your power as your ability to hold that spaciousness and offer it as an answer to negativity. That rolls right in with your practice.
Aaron: My blessings and love to all of you—and I speak here especially to Q. I am Aaron. I’ve known you probably for 30 years or more. I’ve seen how much you give, and I’ve seen that you can receive. I’ve seen in you, my friend, that there is real pain over the suffering in the world and such a deep desire to release some of that suffering in the world. And, perhaps seeing that there is so little on the surface that can be done, a there may be a subtle negation of the self.
It’s not that you can’t do anything; it’s that you desire to do it 100%, and nobody can do it 100%. And then you diminish yourself, saying, “I can’t do enough.” Then you cut yourself off from the whole movement of giving and receiving.
As soon as you put yourself out of that cycle of giving and receiving, giving and receiving, you limit not only the receiving but… let me say this carefully: You don’t really limit what you give, you limit your trust of what you give.
I cannot tell you what you feel, but it seems to me that at times you feel, “I am not enough. I just can’t do everything that needs to be done, there is so much that needs to be done. I am not enough. And if I am not enough, then how can I receive back?” And then you limit in your mind what you should receive, cut yourself out of the circle, subtly—not a lot, but subtly.
I think that’s what you’re talking about. I may be wrong, but that’s how it feels to me.
And the answer here is just mindfulness, to watch what’s arising. “Ah, so here it his again, and here is that. Hello, catalyst! Hello!” Just making space for it, which you do know how to do. Listening to yourself, receiving yourself. Can you do that?
That is all. I am Aaron. I release the body to Barbara.